I began this holy week on a real high note. I participated in a spectacular worship service that incorporated drums, dancing, singing and participatory reading of the lectionary. It was full of life and joy and community. I’m going to a new church this semester, one I hope to attend for as long as possible. I’m starting to get to know the attendees who aren’t seminary related, and creating better relationships with those who are. It was a great service and I expected to end the week with services at my home church, getting home for Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday services at my home church. I haven’t been home since January and really wanted to visit home, my friends, family and church. On Tuesday I found out that I wasn’t going to be heading home until the 19th. I was devastated. I know that it’s only about a week, and really what’s the big deal, but it was still hard. It was so hard to find God at work in this that I wrote it down as the place where God had been most absent for me this week. I feel a little disconnected at seminary, like I don’t have a group of friends to belong to, like I don’t have my own community. I am, of course, part of a greater community, but I still find myself feeling alone a lot of the time. I started to make my week busy, planning services to go to (there is no shortage during holy week!), a potluck to attend, research to do, and friends to drop off at the airport. I sent a friend an email saying I wasn’t coming home this weekend after all and she shot one back saying, in part, but you’ll get to experience holy week with your new church community, that has to hold some appeal, yes? And I thought, well of course it holds some appeal, but it’s still not home. I tried to shake off the cranky mood and went to chapel this morning. All during holy week they’ve been having chapel services at 7:30 in the morning, now most days this is just way to early for me, but today I had Hebrew at 8:30, and the president of the seminary was preaching, so I figured I would go. My roommate and I went and it was a beautiful service, complete with communion. The sermon was about being lost and about finding your way. President Blount told a story of getting lost in Philadelphia, and his son telling him to find his grandparents house, and then they would know where they were and how to get where they were going. The message to us this Maundy Thursday was to find the cross and from there find your way home. As I made my way to Maundy Thursday service tonight I was still feeling apprehensive, but looking forward to our soup supper, communion and foot washing worship. We ate and laughed and prayed and fed each other and washed each others’ feet. And I finally felt like I belonged. I find myself grounded by my faith. I know that I am in a much better place when I am surrounded by a community of believers, and tonight I felt that way again. I have a long way to go to feel completely at home here, but I am starting to feel comfortable, and that’s saying a lot. As a pastor in training sometimes I look at the daily lectionary, knowing that sometime soon (you know, like next spring in class) I’m going to have to look at it and try and figure out what God is saying to me through the text. I know some days will be harder than others, but as I looked at today’s morning psalm, it seemed easy, 27:1-14 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When evildoers assail me to devour my flesh- my adversaries and foes- they shall stumble and fall. Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war rise up against me, yet I will be confident. One thing I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple. For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will set me high on a rock. Now my head is lifted up above my enemies all around me, and I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing and make melody to the Lord. Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud, be gracious to me and answer me! “Come,” my heart says, “seek his face!” Your face, Lord, do I seek. Do not hide your face from me. Do not turn your servant away in anger, you who have been my help. Do not cast me off, do not forsake me, O God of my salvation! If my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up. Teach me your way, O Lord, and lead me on a level path because of my enemies. Do not give me up to the will of my adversaries, for false witnesses have risen against me, and they are breathing out of violence. I believe that I shall see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!
Find the cross and then find the way home. Amen.
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